Hi, Bagong Nanay!
As Mother’s Month comes to a close, I wanted to honor the strength of this Bagong Nanay who became a mom at 23 years old. She was a graduating student, working on her thesis, when she found out that she was three months pregnant with her first child. Not to romanticize becoming a young mother, but to honor the strength it took to navigate motherhood so early in life.
It was during the Bagong Nanay Milktea Meetup at the North when I got to know the story of Jaahzel Jadulco-Alvendia or Mommy Jazz, and I knew then and there that I had to share her inspiring story about faith, courage, and love. Her baby, Reeses Kiara, was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease at two months old, and underwent open heart surgery at barely five months old.
Mommy Jazz shared her story with me over Zoom, and I’m honored to share with you her Kuwentong Bagong Nanay. Read on.
Kuwentong Bagong Nanay: Jazz Alvendia
Her motherhood journey started with a terrible headache.
Jazz was 23 years old then, on her last semester in college, busy with their thesis. She had no idea she was pregnant because she was drowning in acads and also had polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). She commuted from Quezon City to Morayta in Manila to go to school every day.
“Akala ko normal lang kasi mahihiluhin ako sa biyahe, may thesis pa kami nung time na yun kaya stressed din ako sa school. Until one night, iba na yung sakit ng ulo ko tapos gusto na ako ipa-CT scan ng mother ko, buti nalang hindi natuloy. Before ako i-CT scan, pinregnancy test ako, tapos doon nalaman.”
She then had a transvaginal ultrasound, and it confirmed that she was going to have a baby. “Nung na-transvaginal ultrasound ako, nakita na buo na siya, may heartbeat, may kamay na, gumagalaw-galaw na rin siya, tapos nasilip na rin ng doktor na baka girl ito!”
“Hanggang sa nanganak ako, sobrang smooth lang ng journey namin. Dinala ako sa ospital ng 7 AM, tapos 7 cm na pala ako, unmedicated birth yun, tapos ang bilis lang ng labor. 9 AM, baby out na. One hour mahigit lang ako nag-labor. Parang hindi iyon yung pain na in-expect ko. Parang di niya ako pinahirapan. Tapos okay din siya.”
They thought everything was okay until they had to go to another pediatrician for Reese’s routine checkup when she was two months old.
“Nagulat ako kasi pag nagwe-well baby checkup, laging normal naman. Pero doon sa isang pedia, parang iba agad yung reaksyon niya paglapat niya ng stethoscope.”
“She recounts, “Bigla nalang nagtanong si Doc, “Meron ba kayong lahi na may sakit sa puso?” Sabi ko, “Wala po.” Sabi niya, “I’m scared, kasi parang feeling ko may butas sa puso si Reese. Diretso na kayo sa Heart Center, ipa-check niyo na kasi ang lakas ng murmur, tsaka parang hindi rin siya maliit,” the doctor explained.
They went to a hospital where they know a pedia-cardiologist first, and scans confirmed that Baby Reese had a ventricular septal defect (VSD), or a hole in her heart. Her family and doctors initially hoped the hole would close on its own.
“After two months, iniscan ulit, nag-twice na yung size nung buttas. By October, gusto na nila ma-operahan si Reese. Lalaki na daw yung butas at magmamanifest na daw yung symptoms in a few months.”
Their first step was to get Reese baptized by September. They asked to extend for another month to save up for the hospital costs, which amounted to P800,000.
“Madaming gustong tumulong. May mayor sa Pangasinan na mother din siya, bumili siya ng plushies ni Reese tapos tinransfer nila agad yung pera. Kahit andyan na yung lahat ng sign, ready na kami, ayoko pa ituloy. Yung decision ko, di pa consistent,” Jazz recounts.
Reese’s surgery was finally scheduled to November 4.
“Ang gulo ng isip ko nun. Yung husband ko yung nagpupush na gawin kung ano yung makakabuti kay Reese. November 2, na-admit na siya. November 4, na-operahan na siya. Sobrang smooth lang.”
“The night before, nandun na yung mga waiver, mas lalo ako kinabahan kasi pwede daw magkaproblema sa nervous system, ma-paralyze or magka-infection. Lahat ng possibilities. Sila yung pinaka at risk, pero at the same time, sila din yung pinakamagandang operahan kasi yung puso nila bago pa, if ever may mga adjustment, mabilis silang maka-cope up.”
She spoke to Reese’s pedia-cardio, who said there’s a 94% success rate with her condition.
“Binago ni Reese yung buhay namin in so many ways. Mas lumakas yung faith namin. ‘Yun rin siguro yung way ni Lord para mapalapit kami sa Kanya.”
– Mommy Jazz Alvendia
“7 AM bumaba na kami. Nung time na yun, di ako takot na takot. Mas stressed na stressed yung mga lola, lalo na yung mother ko na nasa US, kasi anak niya ako tapos wala siya sa tabi ko. Yung mother-in-law ko, naghi-hysterical na. Ako, ang gaan. Pinagaan ni Lord. Hindi ako natatakot anong mangyayari.
10 AM palang tapos na. Ang bilis. Lumabas yung surgeon, all good na. Nagulat sila na ang laki na daw ng butas. Sabi nila, “Buti nag-decide kayo na ipaopera siya.”
12 NN, pwede na silipin si baby sa surgical ICU. Nakita ko siya, bilang nanay, ang daming tubo, may mga aparato.”
While Reese had a successful operation, things took a turn when she had a fever.
“Nagkaroon siya ng sepsis, nilagnat siya bigla. Ang taas ng bacteria na nakita sa blood niya.”
They spent about 20 more days in the hospital.
“Nagtatanong ako, bakit hindi siya nagrerespond? Bakit hindi siya nagsasmile? Sobrang dami rin niyang antibiotic.”
Reese’s doctor assured her that they were doing their best.
“After four days, tsaka lang siya ulit nag-smile. Tuwang-tuwa ako nung nag-smile siya tapos dumedede na siya. Takot na takot ako makita yung scar niya, pero nagulat ako, pagtingin ko sa sugat, tuyo na siya. Ganun pala kabilis mag-heal kapag baby pa. Doon na kami nagkaroon ng pag-asa, kahit may antibiotics pa siya, okay na si baby.
“Nung gabi na iuuwi na siya, dinaan namin siya sa chapel ng Heart Center. Ang saya saya ko lang, kasi ang bilis lang din ng recovery niya.
November siya inoperahan, dineklara siya na fully healed na and wala nang maintenance by March.”
Reese celebrated her first birthday on May 16, and Jazz shared her Bagong Nanay story three days after.
Three things Jazz learned about a mother’s love and a child’s strength
A mother’s love is limitless
“Ibibigay mo pala talaga lahat, pag nanay ka na. Nung time na yun, first time ko yung nanghihingi ako ng tulong sa iba-ibang tao, pumipila ako sa DSWD, sa mga party list, sa mga pulitiko. Kaya pag sinasabi nila na grabe daw ako mag-dress up ngayon, ang gaganda daw ng damit ko. Naranasan ko nasi na ako talaga nag-aasikaso sa mga papers niya. Hindi ko in-expect na sa buong buhay ko, gagawin ko yun. Nilunok ko yung pride ko, naming mag-asawa, kasi para sa baby namin yun eh.”
“It’s okay to ask for help sa ibang tao, hindi siya pagiging weak o what, kakailanganin mo talaga ng tulong. Hindi mo kakayanin ng mag-isa ka lang.”
– Mommy Jazz Alvendia
Faith over fear
“Binago ni Reese yung buhay namin in so many ways. Mas lumakas yung faith namin. ‘Yun rin siguro yung way ni Lord para mapalapit kami sa Kanya. Naging faith over fear ako noon, kasi wala naman akong ibang paghuhugutan ng lakas or sasandalan. Talagang kumapit nalang ako sa Kanya, nagtiwala ako sa Kanya, kung ano yung plans Niya para sa amin. Kami rin ni MJ mas tumibay kami kasi every time mag-aaway kami, naaalala ko, meron kaming mas malaking laban na dapat harapin.”
Babies are braver than we think
“Ang galing ng babies. Yung ine-expect natin, na pag babies delicate sila, nakita ko yung version ni Reese na sobrang lakas niya. Madaming nagsasabi wag namin ipa-opera. Pero nagtiwala rin kami sa science, sa mga doktor, at kay Reese.”
Jazz’s message to her Bagong Nanay self
“Nakaka-proud ka. Noong time na nalaman ko na pregnant ako, one sem nalang sana tapos OJT. Tapos sa US sana ako mag-OJT kasi andun yung mother ko. Parang nirepurpose ako. Ngayon na-realize ko para dito siguro pala talaga ako, para maging mother. Makikita mo palang yung best version ng sarili mo.
“Hindi ko inakala na ganyan ka pala ka-strong. Kasi young mom, tapos five months postpartum palang din naman ako noon, sabi ko, di pa nga nag-si-sink in sa akin na mother na ako dahil ang bilis din ng pregnancy journey ko. Sobrang proud ako sa kanya, na-overcome niya lahat, may mas better version pa pala ako. Hindi lang pala ako anak, hindi lang pala ako yung magaling na classmate, or girlfriend, magiging magaling ka rin pala na mother.”
An advice she holds deeply
There’s one advice that Jazz received when she was a Bagong Nanay that she will forever cherish, “Nung nalaman na namin na may heart condition si Reese, may nagsabi sa akin na parang “There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.”
‘Yun yung talagang ni-look forward ko, matatapos din to, kahit ang bagal ng oras pag may problema ka, parang kailan ba ‘to matatapos, malalagpasan ba namin to? Pinanghawakan ko talaga na after nito, ginhawa naman. Pagsubok lang to. Hanggang ngayon, pag may mga mothers na nakakausap ko na struggle sila sa first year ng motherhood nila, lagi ko sinasabi na there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Naging meaningful niya sa akin. Noong nandun ako sa situation na sobrang bigat, sinasabi ko kay MJ, “Paano pag nawala si Reese?” Lahat ng possibilities kasi pwede. Sabi niya, “Malalagpasan rin natin ito.”
3 things a Bagong Nanay needs to thrive in motherhood
“Every mom needs a village talaga.”
Jazz believes that what helped her get through the hardest parts of her motherhood journey was her support system.
“Kakailanganin mo talaga ng tulong, kahit anong pride mo. Nung mag-jowa palang kami, ang taas ng pride namin eh. Bata pa kasi kami, kaya ma-pride kami. Sabi namin, ‘Wag tayo magpost, wag tayo humingi ng tulong,’ pero kinailangan namin. It’s okay to ask for help sa ibang tao, hindi siya pagiging weak o what, kakailanganin mo talaga ng tulong.”
For Bagong Nanays, she emphasizes, “Pwedeng family mo yun, or kung hindi ka comfortable sa family mo, maghanap ka ng isang friend, kahit isang friend lang, o kung wala talaga, pwedeng husband mo, o kung wala din, sa sisters mo. Kailangan mo talaga ng village.”
She adds, “Hindi mo kakayanin ng mag-isa ka lang. Siguro kakayanin, pero may times talaga na, kinailangan ko talagang humingi ng tulong.”
“Nagtiwala din ako sa husband ko.”
Throughout her pregnancy, Jazz said she had been calling the shots as a mother. “May decisions na gusto ko ako lang. Pero noong nalaman ko na may sakit si Reese, kailangan ko rin ng kaagapay sa mga decisions. Hindi katulad nung nagbubuntis ako na, ‘Wag niyo ako pagsabihan, ayoko sa pamahiin, ayoko sa kasabihan. Ayoko nang minamanduhan ako.’ Na-realize ko na dapat mag-trust ka sa partner mo, kasi as the father, meron din siyang dapat say sa mga decisions.”
“Kailangan mo si Lord sa buhay mo.”
With all they went through, Jazz always points to God. “Kahit anong problema, kapag wala ka nang mapuntahan o mahingan ng tulong, Siya lang yung nandiyan para makinig sayo. Sa Kanya ka lang kakapit.”
“Hindi rin ako makapaniwala na naging ganun ka-strong yung faith ko sa Kanya, kasi kung hindi, baka hindi naoperahan si Reese kung nagtiwala lang ako sa sarili ko.”
What makes Jazz happy as a mom
Jazz has been sharing her motherhood as a content creator, sharing daily vlogs, product reviews, and more on her social. When asked what makes her happy, she says it’s being part of a community.
“Sobrang saya ko na nakakaattend ako ng meet-ups kasi nagkakaroon ako ng time para sa sarili ko. Ang saya kapag may kasama kang mom friends kasi sila yung nakakarelate. Masaya ako ngayon sa mom friends ko, mommy gatherings, mommy meetups. Masaya ako na naging part ako ng Bagong Nanay Community. Na-meet ko si Mama Frances, siya yung naging way para maging member ako ng Bagong Nanay noong HiPP Mommy Meetup.”
She adds, as a young mom, being part of a support group helps her to feel less alone in her journey.
“Mas hindi na ako intimidated ngayon kasi alam kong may Bagong Nanay Community na papansin sa akin, makikipag-usap sa akin, at magaaya sa akin mag-milk tea.”
Follow Mommy Jazz’s journey on her socials: Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | Threads
Are you a Bagong Nanay who wants to have a mom community and have milk tea together? Comment below or send a message here.
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