Bagong Nanay

Tag: pandemic

  • 4 tips to cope with daily nanayhood struggles

    4 tips to cope with daily nanayhood struggles

    I have to say – nakakaloka na ang mga turn of events. Mag-iisang taon na tayong naka-quarantine dahil sa Covid-19 pandemic. Parating na ang mga bakuna, pero ang bagal ng usad. Dagdag pa diyan, hindi nauubos ang chores natin bilang mga nanay. Shoutout sa mga walang yaya o kamag-anak na kasama sa bahay katulad ko, minsan, hindi ko na alam kung saan pwede humugot ng sanity.

    Nakaka-pressure rin pala no, na ang tingin ng society sa mga nanay ay mga superwoman. May nabasa akong meme kanina, natawa nalang ako. Kasi nakakarelate ako.

    Credits: Close to Classy

    May mga araw na para bang ayaw mong magpaka-nanay. Yung sana pwede lang humilata sa kama at magpahinga. Pero hindi, babangon at babangon tayo dahil nanay tayo. Nanay na tayo.

    Kaya naman, naisipan ko magtanong sa mga kapwa ko nanay sa Instagram kung ano ang mga recent discovery nila para makapag-cope sa nanayhood struggles na nararanasan natin everyday.

    Bilang isang development worker, naniniwala ako na bilang nanay, kailangan holistic ang pagtingin natin sa health natin. Na hindi lang dapat healthy ang katawan at ang kinakain natin. Dapat kasama rin ang emotional, mental, at spiritual health natin. Kundi, hindi tayo totoong okay. Hindi natin maseserve ang mga pamilya natin kung tayo mismo ay hindi okay.

    Tip #1: Move.

    Siguro mag-aagree kayo na isa sa pinaka-challenging sa sitwasyon natin ngayon ay yung bawal lumabas. Mga social creatures tayo eh. Yung panay punta ng mall kahit wala namang bibilhin. Tatambay sa labas ng bahay para makapag-chikahan sa kung sinumang nasa labas. O pupunta ng Starbucks para makipag-catch up sa friends.

    Napakahirap na limited ang galaw natin. Hindi tayo makahinga. Kaya sana makahanap tayo ng way para igalaw ang mga katawan natin. Gaya ni Mommy Chee. Sabi niya, “Recent discovery ko is mag-bike kapag madami na akong iniisip. Lalo na sa mga area na may mga puno.”

    Nakakamiss mag-Zumba. Yung naka-social distancing kayo para hindi magkatamaan sa pagsayaw. Pero pagkatapos nun, kakain kayo sa tapsihan. Pwede pa rin naman mag-Zumba sa bahay, gaya ng kwento ni Mommy Rej dito sa blog niya.

    Involve mo din si LO sa paggalaw para masarap nap niya

    No excuses tayo, mga nanay. Kasi according to Mama Mindy, kahit 6 weeks post-partum ka palang, pwede ka na mag-balik alindog program! Depende sayo kung ano ang gagawin mo para gumalaw basta gumalaw ka. Kasi ako sa totoo lang, sinasayawan ko nalang yung Cocomelon at Pororo.

    Tip #2: Communicate.

    Madami satin na sasabihin na mayakap at makiss lang tayo ng mga anak natin, pawi na ang pagod natin. Pero minsan, may iba pa tayong kailangan para naman maboost ang emotional health natin.

    Sabi ni Nanay Daisy, “Ako po nadiscover kong magbasa ng mga iba’t ibang stories ng mga kapwa ko nanay.” Bilang mga Bagong Nanay, nangangapa tayo minsan. At okay lang yun. Kaya mahalaga ang pag-share ng mga kuwento natin gaya ng sabi ni Mommy Daisy. Abangan: #KuwentongBagongNanay this Saturday!

    Kailangan din natin ng kausap tungkol sa mga feelings natin. Kasi kung yung anak lang natin ang kausap natin, baka maloka tayo. May phase sa buhay ko (bago pa ko magkaron ng anak) na parang mas gusto ko mag-open up sa mga strangers kesa sa mga taong malapit sakin. Wala lang, parang no judgment lang. Bagong perspective ba. Isa sa mga apps na nakatulong sa akin noon ay ang 7 Cups. Pwede niyo siya itry – lalo na sa mga panahong kailangan niyo lang talaga ng makakausap.

    Ito rin ang dahilan bakit ko naisip gumawa ng Viber group ng mga Bagong Nanay. Napakalaking bagay yung may makakausap ka na naiintindihan ka, at magrereply sa tanong mo. Kaya kung hindi ka pa kasali, join ka na sa Bagong Nanay Community. Dito, may nanay na gising para sumagot sa mga tanong mo. Kahit ano pa yan – from paano magpaputi ng kili-kili to anong pakiramdam ng naglalabor na.

    Lagi ko itong ippromote hanggang sa sumali ka na

    Tip #3: Find your peace.

    Taas kamay kung katulad ko – na-a-anxious kayo araw-araw sa kung ano ang lulutuin almusal, tanghalian, at hapunan? Grabe pala maging adult no? Lahat yan iisipin mo kasi ikaw na yung nanay ng pamilya. Kaya kesa mastress ka sa araw-araw kakaisip, ang ginagawa ko ay nag-pi-prepare na ako ng plano ko for tomorrow.

    “To-do lists are lifesavers,” sabi ng mga taga-Parkwood Playschool. Napakalaking bagay sakin na nakaplano na ang araw ko, para wala akong makakalimutan at yung may sense of achievement ka at the end of the day dahil naaccomplish mo ang tasks mo. Kahit gaano pa kaliit yan. Actually, the more specific ang tasks na isulat mo, mas mataas daw ang chance na magawa mo ito.

    Naka-sale na yung planners ng Mommy Mundo! Check it out

    Tip #4: Believe.

    If you know me, baka di kayo maniwala but I (try to) start my day by reading the Daily Scriptures. Kasi minsan, feeling ko pag may problema ako, may sagot na agad si Lord/Allah/Universe bago ko pa itanong. Lalo na at a time like this, kailangan natin ng kakapitan na hindi kakalas sa atin.

    Isa rin sa mga recent discoveries ko ay ang Daily Wellness playlist ng Spotify. Nakakapag-meditate ako at the end of the day – pagtapos na ko magchores at manood ng K-drama. Nakaka-relax siya, at the same time, eto na yung pinaka-me time ko.

    Mix siya of talks and songs – sana naka-Premium ka; ako hindi

    Dahil minsan, hindi naman kailangan ng manicure o pedicure to feel that you are taking care of yourself. Minsan, sapat na yung huminga ka lang. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. After all, nanay tayo. Nanay na napapagod, nangangapa, nadadapa, pero sa huli, nagpapahinga. Humihinga. Dahil while we breathe, we hope.

    Mahirap maging nanay. Given na yun. Kaya let’s take it one day at a time lang.

    One last tip: When you feel super down or tired, hug your little one. Feel every tiny part of their body. And realize how that tiny little thing could give you so much love. How that small human can inspire you to be superhuman. Yes, babalik tayo sa yakap nila.

    We got this, Bagong Nanay. One day at a time.

    Nanay Judy

  • How to be a #BagongNanay in the time of Covid-19

    How to be a #BagongNanay in the time of Covid-19

    This morning, I woke up the moment my husband was about to go to bed. I asked him, “Anong oras na?”

    “Ah, 4:30. Ano ba ngayon, Wednesday? Hala, Thursday na pala.”

    Uncertain. Our life has been like that every day, for four days now, since government ordered both public and private companies to let their employees work from home amid the coronavirus 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic.

    My eldest sister who works in the BPO industry said it best: this is unprecedented. In her 14 years on the job, they were never asked to stop going to the office and just work from home. Not even during the worst typhoons. It’s never been done before. This is some serious sh*t.

    Anxiety due to this uncertainty hits me every time. I recently quit from my job, after ten years of working, to become a full-time nanay. The thought hasn’t really sunk in yet, as the decision was beautiful and harrowing at the same time. Here’s what I’ve been doing to cope with this uncertainty:

    1. Focus on what matters most.

    With the threat of Covid19 just lurking outside our door, I am striving to be like a swan – cooking our meals, washing the dishes, preparing her bath, breastfeeding her every two hours, reading to her, playing with her, watching nursery rhymes with her, putting her to sleep – but breaking down underneath. Focus on what you need to do, and keep going.

    Your most important task during these times is to keep your family safe and healthy. Don’t pressure yourself to do a lot of things just because you feel you aren’t doing anything. It’s okay. Just keep your home the safest place to be.

    2. Take a break.

    Recently, I’ve been having engorged breasts. Perhaps my baby is not latching well, or probably because I am so stressed. Why was I stressed that night?

    Our President just finished his speech, announcing that there will be an Enhanced Community 1uarantine or ECQ in Luzon. After that, my husband and I watched 93 Days on Netflix, a film about ebola. On top of that, I am unemployed, and anxiously waiting for the results of my applications for home-based jobs. And yes, I need to do everything in my power to keep my family alive and try to keep my sh*t together.

    Everything is messed up, so give yourself a chance to breathe. Take a social media break, watch the daily news but with caution that there are things you cannot control, so do things that you have control. Read a book, write on your journal, or declutter your room. Rest.

    3. Take it one day at a time.

    Dealing with this kind uncertainty is hard, especially for a first-time mother. How long before I can take my child to the park? Or, will we ever be able to go to the park again?

    Find comfort in knowing that the only way we will overcome this, is to survive one day at a time. For now, staying at home is the best that we can do. So we make the most of our hours at home. One day, we will look back on these days and miss these, I bet.

    4. Find an outlet.

    The mental load of a first-time mother at the time of Covid-19 is freaking heavy. You are in-charge of another person’s life now.

    That’s why to cope, I try to write so I can finally let all my thoughts and emotions out. If I leave this post unfinished, and save it as another draft, it will keep haunting me. I also find comfort that when I write down things, there will come a time that I will read them again and think “Ooh, so that happened before and now everything is better.”

    Maybe take this time to finally meditate or workout, bake or cook, whatever that suits you. Nothing fancy, just focus your energies to doing something else instead of worrying and being anxious. It’s hard, but we need to be in-charge of our mental health to better care for others.

    So what else can you do when things are uncertain?

    • Focus on what truly matters
    • Consider sending private messages to people you care about, instead of posting rants publicly.
    • Don’t add to the burden that others are already carrying by spreading negativity or false news.
    • Have faith that this, too, shall pass.
    • In this time of crisis, be like a swan, but think like a wolf. Take charge of your pack.

    And oh. Find comfort in this promise from today’s readings:

    “All depends on faith, everything is grace.”
    —Rm 4:16

    #bagongnanay