Bagong Nanay

Tag: iwd2021

  • “Self-care routine, nakakain ba ‘yun?”

    “Self-care routine, nakakain ba ‘yun?”

    Tayong mga #BagongNanay, best foot forward tayo lagi sa mga anak natin. Siyempre, first time natin eh. Natatakot tayong magkamali, ma-judge, o masabihang bad mom. Kung kailangang hindi matulog o hindi maligo para lang mabantayan si baby, gagawin natin ‘yun. Lahat ng atensyon, kay baby napupunta. Paano naman ang sarili natin?

    Guilty ako dito. May time na wala akong pakialam sa itsura ko na pumayag akong magpakalbo dahil sa post-partum hairloss ko. Sa totoo lang, isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ko yun ginawa kasi madalas kong nakikita na nakapulupot sa kamay ng baby ko noon ang mahabang hibla ng buhok ko. Yun pala minsan ang dahilan kung bakit umiiyak siya. Siyempre, ayokong masaktan siya. Kaya goodbye, long hair.

    Pero na-realize ko na napakaimportante na inaalagaan din natin ang sarili natin. At hindi naman pala ganun kahirap mag-self-care, o magbigay ng pansin sa kalusugan natin. Pwedeng sa maliliit na bagay, napaparamdam mo na pala ulit sa sarili mo na mahalaga ka. At kung inaalagaan mo ang sarili mo, mas maaalagaan mo ang ibang tao.

    Ayon sa World Health Organization (WHO), ang self-care ay ang “kakayahan ng mga indibidwal, pamilya at pamayanan upang maitaguyod at mapanatili ang kalusugan, maiwasan at makayanan ang sakit at kapansanan na mayroon bagama’t kulang o walang suporta ng isang propesyonal na taga pang-alaga ng kalusugan.”

    SOURCE: MSF PHILIPPINES

    Kaya naman, tinanong ko ang mga #BagongNanay sa Instagram kung ano ang kanilang “self-care routine.” Gagamitin ko ding reference ang mga posters mula sa Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) Philippines na pinost nila sa kanilang Twitter, Instagram at Facebook in time for International Women’s Day.

    Exercise and meditate

    Ayon kay Mommy Rej at Mama Mindy, exercise ang kanilang self-care routine. “Exercise: depends on my mood and energy level. Sometimes I feel like [doing] yoga, for stretching and peace of mind. Sometimes I want to dance, so I do Zumba,” shares Mommy Rej. “Sometimes I want to feel strong and powerful so I do weights or core exercises,” dagdag pa niya.

    Kung kakapanganak mo palang at palagay mo ready ka na to get your pre-Bagong Nanay body back, i-check out mo ang Instagram ni Mama Mindy. Isa siyang certified post-partum core rehab specialist. May back stretches for breastfeeding mamas, early post-partum babywearing workouts, and more.

    Kelan ka last nag-exercise? Photos from MSF Philippines

    For meditation, sabi ni Mommy Rej, “Spotify lang OK na! There are guided meditations on Spotify. There are also nature sounds or white noise for sleep and relaxation. But there are also free apps like Headspace and Smiling Mind.”

    Walang time mag-meditate? Subukan mo itong breathing technique na ito! Photos from MSF Philippines

    Pamper yourself

    Ayon naman kay Nanay Claire, “I am making sure that I am putting my skincare routine daily. Kahit I am a widow now, but I am [practicing] self-care and self-love.”

    Agree ako dito. Nakaka-tempt yung kesa mag-cleanse, tone, and moisturize ka ng skin, eh itutulog mo nalang. Pero yung simpleng makapaghilamos ka lang, minsan sapat na yun para ma-refresh ka.

    At syempre, while you’re at it, i-compliment mo din ang sarili mo habang nakatingin sa salamin. Sabihin mo na maganda ka, noon at ngayon, and you are enough.

    You are enough, Bagong Nanay. Photos from MSF Philippines

    Keep your body clean and healthy

    Gaano katagal ang pinakamatagal mong paligo since naging #BagongNanay ka? Kung dati may time pa tayong maglagay ng hair spa treatment, ngayon, wala pang one minute, banlaw na ang conditioner. Pero madalas, ang pagligo ang pinaka-me time ng mga Bagong Nanay.

    Fun fact: Naisip kong gawin ang Bagong Nanay habang naliligo ako, isang araw noong September 2019.

    Sabi nga ni Mommy Daisy, “Hindi po dapat nawawala ang self-care natin, sa kabila ng mga busy nating buhay. Ako po ang aking self-care, sa umaga pa lang makaligo na, tapos hilamos at toothbrush sa gabi bago matulog. Yan lang ang aking simpleng self care. At siyempre kumain ng masustansyang pagkain.”

    Mas mainam ang home-cooked meals. Safe at tipid! Photos from MSF Philippines

    Destress and sleep

    Kung anumang bagay ang pwedeng magbigay sayo ng ngiti o magpatawa sayo, gawin mo ito. Kahit kasing simple ng paglalaro ng Candy Crush, or panonood ng K-Drama, pag-browse ng Facebook, deserve mo yun, Bagong Nanay.

    At usually, ginagawa natin ito pag tulog na ang mga bata.

    “Self care routine ko is watching at least one series/movie per day after work, pagtulog na lahat, bago ako matulog. Most of the time kasi lalo ngayon WFH, nawawala na yun me-time at boundaries natin eh,” sabi ni Mommy Chee.

    Eto yung tinatawag ng mga experts na ‘revenge bedtime procrastination.’ Habang isang way ito para mag-destress tayong mga nanay, bilin ng mga eksperto na matuto tayong i-balance ang schedule natin para hindi tayo masanay na laging napupuyat dahil dito.

    Tulog-tulog din tayo! Photos from MSF Philippines

    Be spontaneous

    Hindi natin kailangang magpaalipin sa ating routine. Why not shake things up a bit? It won’t hurt kung minsan, umorder ka ng paborito mong take-out food kesa mag-spend ka ng oras sa pagluluto. Mag-screentime kayo together ng anak mo for a few minutes? What if bumili ka ng dishwasher para hindi ka na palagi maghuhugas ng plato?

    Do something different today! Photos from MSF Philippines

    Wala namang perpektong nanay. Wala namang nag-ge-grade sa atin kung gaano tayo kagaling na magulang. Give yourself a break, Bagong Nanay. And when you do, you will be more focused, more energized than ever.

    At kung hindi mo talaga kaya…

    May mga panahon na kahit maghilamos hindi natin magawa dahil sa dami ng kailangang gawin. Yung tipong lumamig na pala yung kape mo, hindi mo pa natitikman. Okay lang yun. Ang mahalaga, alam mo ang gagawin kung sakaling maramdaman mo na parang may nag-iba sayo.

    Kung gusto mo ng makakausap na mga kapwa Bagong Nanay, join the Bagong Nanay Community on Viber. Dito, walang pagalingan. Walang payabangan. Usap-usap lang. Damayan lang. Dahil at the end of the day, #BagongNanaysEMPOWERBagongNanays.

    Talk to someone. Photos from MSF Philippines

    Ikaw #BagongNanay, anong self-care routine mo?

  • #ChooseToChallenge, Bagong Nanay.

    #ChooseToChallenge, Bagong Nanay.

    Happy International Women’s Day, #BagongNanay!

    Noong March 8, nakiisa ang Bagong Nanay sa pagsaludo sa lahat ng mga kababaihan sa buong mundo. Nuks, lakas maka-SEC registered org? Haha.

    Ang theme ng #IWD2021 ay #ChooseToChallenge. Ang ganda nito, dahil bilang isang bagong nanay, magandang pinipili nating i-challenge ang mga mindset, pananaw, o mga kinagawian na ng society. In short, madami tayong kuda.

    Maraming mga stigma sa mga bagong nanay, na kesyo dapat ganito o ganyan tayo. Isa lang ang masasabi ko. Sabi nga ni Les Brown, “never let someone’s opinion become your reality.” Yes, kakanood ko lang ng Start-Up, at #TeamGoodBoy all the way ako. Hehehe.

    Kaya naman, tinanong ko din ang mga Bagong Nanay sa Instagram kung anong mga negatibong pananaw ukol sa pagiging baguhan sa larangan ng parenting ang gusto nilang i-challenge. At bumilib ako sa mga sagot nila.

    “Walang alam”

    Ayon kay Mommy Chee, isa sa mga negatibong pananaw na gusto niya i-challenge ay ang pag-judge sa mga Bagong Nanay na wala tayong alam. “Wala daw alam, makinig lagi sa sasabihin ng mga matatanda kasi yun daw lagi tama.” Meron bang pinanganak na marunong na agad maging nanay?

    While it is important to listen to what our parents say, we have to be discerning because every child is unique. Hindi pwedeng kung ano ang nag-work kay Baby A ay yun rin ang magwowork kay Baby B. Kung noon, gumagamit sila ng mansanilya para sa kabag, at sinabi naman ng pedia mo na hindi maganda yun, as a mother, ikaw ang may final say. Kasi in the end, whatever happens to your child, ikaw ang accountable doon.

    Para sa mga nakatatanda, bigyan naman natin ng chance ang mga Bagong Nanay na matuto at magamit ang diskarte nila. Hindi pwedeng ipilit ninyo ang gusto ninyo sa apo o pamangkin ninyo dahil hindi niyo po sila anak.

    “Wag ka na mag-work”

    Gusto naman i-challenge ni Mommy Marie Cris ang negatibong pananaw na “pag natapos na ang maternity leave and need na bumalik sa work, guilt trip sa mga bagong nanay instead na suportahan sila, for sure they would want to stay at home with the baby pero no choice ang iba but to work.”

    Sad reality, pero malayo pa ang tatahakin natin para maging supportive ang mga workplace to first-time mothers. Sometimes, wala na sa kamay natin to choose if we work or stay home. Lalo na ngayong may pandemic. We do what we need to survive. Nasa survival mode tayo. Kaya please, I call on companies, to be extra kind to your employees who are also moms. They are facing a different kind of battle. Please default to empathy, until the pandemic is over.

    “Wag mo masyado i-baby”

    Bilang Bagong Nanay, syempre best foot forward tayo sa mga anak natin. Pero madaming nagsasabi na huwag daw masyado i-baby ang baby. So paano, i-adult agad ang baby? Haha.

    Sabi ni Mommy Erin, “I can recall na madami nakikialam how I am very protective of my child, and masyado daw bini-baby or kinakarga. Well, once they grow up, you’ll miss those moments din talaga. “Your child, your rules,” and do everything with love, sabi nga nila and you’ll know what needs to be done.”

    Do everything with love – dyan magaling ang mga Bagong Nanay. Kaya naman please, when you see us sacrificing our sleep just to watch our babies sleep well, bigay niyo na sa amin. They grow up so fast. Let us cherish the moments.

    “Wala ka namang ginagawa”

    Eto ang gusto ko ring i-challenge na pananaw ng mga tao eh. Agree ako kay Mommy Daisy. “Yung masabihan kang, “wala ka namang ginagawa sa bahay.” Eh, ano pala yung pag-aalaga mo sa mga anak mo? Pag-aasikaso sa asawa mo? At sa buong bahay? Very challenging yang ganyang mga salita na yan nung nagsisimula pa lang kami ng buhay namin bilang mag-asawa. But as time goes on, ginawa ko siyang challenge. Hindi ko siya minasama, pero pinakita ko sa kanila na kaya kong maging nanay at the same time magampanan ang pagiging asawa.”

    Some women had to quit their job to become a full-time mother sometimes not by choice but by circumstance. Either walang makuhang yaya, or need tutukan si baby, or dahil nga may pandemic. While other people think that being a stay-at-home mom is “maswerte” dahil hindi ka nga nagwowork, well, if you’ve never tried to be one, you’ll never know.

    Stay-at-home mom depression is real. And it is important that we create safe spaces for Bagong Nanays to express their emotions and exhaustion. This is something I would like to stand for and challenge. Because it is happening to me. And I know I’m not alone.

    If you want someone to talk to, join the Bagong Nanay Community in Viber. You can personally message me, and we can talk.

    As Bagong Nanays, we already have our own crosses to carry. We hope the people around us don’t add to the load, and help us instead.

    Let’s continue to #ChooseToChallenge, and also, choose to be kind to one another. We are living in extraordinary times, and I hope that we don’t add to someone else’s burden.

    #BagongNanaysEmpowerBagongNanays

    Nanay Judy

  • Ericka Mercado: How To Be a Mama of Two

    Ericka Mercado: How To Be a Mama of Two

    On this year’s International Women’s Day, I’m happy to share the very first #KuwentongBagongNanay.

    This series aims to tell stories and experiences of new and modern nanays so that they can inspire and empower first-time moms.

    Our first featured Bagong Nanay is Ericka Mercado from Canada. I asked her to share how she is raising a preschooler (5yo) and a newborn (1mo) in their home. And I’m amazed that she sent her responses before the deadline! Wow. What a wonder woman! I honor you!

    Read on to know some of her struggles, ultimate nanayhood hacks, and essentials that she swears by.

    1. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received as a Bagong Nanay, and tell us why you value it.

    Never compare your kids or yourself to others. 

    This applies to my kids and my journey as a Bagong Nanay. God created us uniquely, and our journeys are all different. Sabi nga nila, comparison is the thief of joy, and there were times when I am not able to stop myself from doing it. This is especially true when people around you would do the comparison. Ending: you feel bad about yourself, and you feel inadequate as a parent. 

    This advice actually came from my husband. It is more of a constant reminder. It resonates with me a lot, and I value it because it has allowed me to be conscious of my choice of words and thoughts when I talk to my kids, when I talk to others about my kids and their kids, and most importantly when I look at myself and my journey as a Bagong Nanay. I am at my happiest when I focus on our own progress, and stopped comparing our lives with others. 

    2. Share a Bagong Nanay hack that you recently discovered that helped make your nanayhood journey a little bit easier (could be a new gadget, app, or tipid tip).

    For the Nanays: 

    Two words. Pelvic physiotherapy. I recently went to a wellness clinic to prepare for Eden, my second child’s birth. I had a pelvic floor assessment. I had pelvic exercises and once a week sessions with the physiotherapist. This has helped me shorten my labour and delivery time, as well as recovery time, not to mention it helped minimize tearing.

    I know it is not a hack, but if you are pregnant or knows someone who is, and you have access to a pelvic physiotherapist, please do yourself a favour and use it. 

    For the babies:

    Gripe Water. Both my babies were gassy babies, or are all babies gassy? Anyway, for my firstborn Elon, I didn’t use anything. I burped him and did bicycle exercises and waited to let it pass. Eden’s gas is something else. I learned about Gripe Water, and on the first day of using it, I already saw the difference. She indeed slept like a baby. One teaspoon of this stuff, and it worked wonders for her. Now she sleeps even longer.

    Just make sure you check with your pedia of course. It’s not a hack, but I think it’s been around for ages. If you find yourself needing help with your babies being gassy, this might be it. 

    3. What’s one truth about your nanayhood journey that you want everyone to know but you were too scared or embarrassed to share?

    I love being a Nanay, and I always share these feelings of love and joy. But it didn’t start that way. My first child was not planned. We were married, but we were not expecting to get pregnant so fast.

    When I had Elon, the first month was TOUGH. I was so tired. I love my son, but because of the lack of sleep and being tired physically, there were days I wished I could have my old life back. The first few weeks were truly a test. But then one day, it just got better. The first few weeks seemed like a dark phase that has already passed. 

    Ericka and her son Elon

    The truth is, having these thoughts doesn’t mean I love Elon any less. These feelings were part of my process into this wonderful nanayhood journey. It is not all rainbows and butterflies everyday. Sometimes it is rough, and it’s okay to feel frustrated and wanting a break. Admitting you need a break is okay. And sometimes putting yourself first before your kids is an important part of being the best nanay for your kids. 

    4. What’s the best part so far of being a Bagong Nanay of two?

    “Best part of being a Bagong Nanay of two is [finding out] how much love you are actually capable of feeling and giving. This actually surprised me as I always had the question of “do parents have a favourite child?””

    Ericka Mercado, mom of two

    Pre-Eden, I believed that there is no way a parent can really love their kids equally. When I had Elon, I gave him my 110%. Everyday, I made sure he felt loved and cared for. So I always tell my husband that I am not sure how to love a second child the same when we do have one. But then I had Eden, and it’s as natural as when I had Elon. All the love just came rushing in.

    Bagong Nanay Ericka with Elon (5yo) and Eden (1mo)

    It’s true what they say, your heart just gets bigger with each additional child. Your heart becomes enlarged with so much love that it naturally flows for both of your kids. So yung 110% that I gave to Elon, ngayon meron na akong another 110% for Eden. I answered my question, there are no favourites, and it is possible to love your kids equally (there is so much love to give and share!).

    5. What are the top 3 Bagong Nanay essentials that you swear by?

    Infant baby carrier. It doesn’t matter if it is a sling, wrap, or structured carrier. Carriers are life savers. Moms and dads can either wear the babies and stay hands-free. The best thing is your baby is so close; it’s an instant snuggle too! 

    Kering-keri!

    Stroller and car seat. Don’t feel like wearing your baby? Then there’s the stroller. We use the stroller for walks with the car seat  (when it’s stroller accessible). It’s easy because you don’t have to carry anything, you just push it while the baby is safe and sound in the carrier. Instant snoozefest for both of my kids! They love bumpy walks. Plus is, I get to exercise outside the house while they sleep. 

    Diaper changing mat. How many poop blowouts did Elon and Eden have? Many. Can’t count them. Having the changing mat allows for an easier change of clothes and clean up. Not to mention, it helps you change diapers anywhere that has a flat and safe surface for your baby. 

    PS. 

    If you are breastfeeding, get a good nursing bra and lots of V-neck shirts para madali hilahin! Hehe!

    6. In only six words, describe what kind of Bagong Nanay you are.

    I am a “wear my heart on my sleeve” nanay. So all my emotions are out, felt, apparent and obvious. 

    I am Ericka from Canada! I am the Bagong Nanay of Elon, 5 yrs old and Eden, 1 month old. 

    When I’m not changing diapers, burping, cleaning, cooking, making baon, reading bedtime stories, I usually enjoy hiking, yoga, Kdrama, and photography.