Hi, Bagong Nanay!
Kumusta? Just a quick life update, I just got hired last January 14, and it’s a remote job that I prayed for. As you know, I resigned from my previous job to be a full-time Bagong Nanay again. Kaya I’m so happy na, ika nga sa Threads, “pinagresign ako ni Lord.” I know, God gave me this job – fully remote, flexible, and same timezone lang because it’s Hong Kong-based. (Chat nalang tayo for more deets).
Anyway, I mentioned that because as a millennial mom, sobrang taas ng guilt level ko kapag nahahati yung oras ko as an employee and as a mom. Parang it’s either – mag-resign ako and be a full-time mom, or mag-work ako but always think about resigning every day. Kayo din ba?
Holding Both by Chesca Susmerano Review
Kaya when I read this book, Holding Both, written by Chesca Susmerano, founder of Studio Maria and a good friend, I was affirmed that it’s valid to feel both of these feelings. Yung guilt pati yung joy, yung longing na mag-work pero ma-enjoy din yung tambay lang sa bahay with kids. Reading the first few pages of the book, I had to stop and take a screenshot, cry, and message Chesca how I felt so seen and so understood just by reading. Lalo na when I read this line:
“You’re allowed to drop some things but not forever.”
Talagang, iyak malaley sa bed. Reading that line, carefully and thoughtfully written by Chesca, sabi ko, grabe yung feelings ko of guilt for not working, wala akong contribution sa bahay financially, wala akong pambili ng mga gamit na gusto ko for myself, pero this is not forever. Ang bilis lang niya actually. And mas naiyak ako sa part na, being with our young children na lagi nating kabunong-braso pag babalik ka na sa laptop mo or aalis ka going to office, is also not forever.
An easy read, unputdownable for moms
So I continued reading the book. 63 pages lang siya. Actually, it was meant to be read one chapter at a time. Pero sobrang easy and relatable read niya na I read it bago matulog, habang tulog na ang mga anak ko. Naisip ko nga, posible palang magbasa ng libro kahit may dalawang anak! Buti nalang, Chesca made it an e-book, sobrang convenient basahin ng mommies whenever and wherever.
Tapos napa-stop na naman ako dito sa page where Chesca talked about the sacrifices she did as a mother, being the career woman she used to be before being a Bagong Nanay. If you also resigned from your job to be a full-time mom, grabe yung page 17, I’m telling you. I’m not going to spoil because you have to read it on your own.
Then sa page 20, yung affirmation ni Chesca that whatever we are doing for our children, no matter how small or mundane, matters, wala na. I lost it. Seriously, Holding Both is unputdownable. Hooked na hooked ako.
An affordable, necessary gift for moms
Reading my screenshots of the book now, I’m getting goosebumps. Meron pa akong isang page na twice ko iniscreenshot because it’s so good. Yes, instead of a book na i-Stabilo para maalala, sa e-book you can screenshot so you can always remember. You will always be reminded. Kasi as moms, need natin ng daily reminder that we are doing okay. That we will be okay. That we are enough.
That’s why I encourage you to buy the book, and read it for yourself, or gift it to another Bagong Nanay, may occasion man o wala. I know, 6 years na ako as a nanay, and I thought I know it all – yang mental health, self-care, guilt – akala ko gets ko na yan. Not until I read Holding Both, para akong na-refresh as a mom. Parang na-encourage ako to be myself, to not hide, to not play small anymore. And I hope all of us moms realize this too. That we are doing sacred work as a mom, and we didn’t become less of a person when we gave up our jobs and became a mother.
Milk Tea Confessions: Conversation Cards review
And it’s important to have a village. If there’s one thing I will always remember when I sought professional help, it’s that moms need a strong support system. Hindi mo kailangang maging part ng Facebook group na may libu-libong members. Minsan, sapat na yung may chatgroup ka of four moms who are in the same season as you. Yung hindi ka ija-judge pag sinabi mong nahulog sa bed yung anak mo. Yung gets ka pag naiiinis ka sa husband mo na matagal sa CR. Yung pwede mo makausap about faith, about rage, about anything.
I’m happy that we are growing our Bagong Nanay Viber community (ask me for the link). Mommy Charlotte Silva and I started this group way back pandemic era, nung uso yung group chats at pa-Lalamove ng mga stuff. Kasi may nag-close na isang mommy chatgroup, eh parehas kaming bagong nanay noon, at yun ang source namin ng info. Now, with Bagong Nanay group getting bigger, we get to hold meetups na din.
Last January, we held our first Bagong Nanay Milktea Meetup in Molito, Alabang. Ang saya, hindi pa kami maka-move on. Pito lang kaming moms na nagmeet, pero it was enough. We were meant to be there, all 7 of us. And during our meetup, we used Chesca’s Milk Tea Confessions: Conversation Cards! It’s a freebie when you buy the Holding Both book through her website.
If you are a mom and you’re going to meet up with your mom friends and you want to make the most of your very limited time, use the Milk Tea Confessions: Conversation Cards para hindi naman puro chismisan or “Anong diaper gamit niyo?” ang topic. Makabuluhan naman sana, please.
What Bagong Nanays say about the Milk Tea Confessions: Conversation Cards
Here’s what the Bagong Nanay mamas said about their experience using the Milk Tea Confessions: Conversation Cards during our meetup.
“I sometimes feel awkward initiating conversations with new people but the Confession Cards served as an effective icebreaker! I like that I get to really know the moms using the reflective questions and relatable prompts that were provided. It’s interactive, and thought-provoking. It helped us connect genuinely throughout the whole Milk Tea Meetup.” –Mommy Camille Chua
“It gently opened the door to the kind of heartful conversations we don’t always get to have in everyday mom life. It wasn’t just small talk—it was real stories, shared emotions, and that comforting feeling of “me too.” So grateful for the space it created.” -Mommy Kyla Magbag
“The idea is so clever and the experience of bringing these conversation cards to the table (with the right circle) is surely refreshing!
I think it’s a must-have for every mom meetups. My momma heart is happy. Ang saya to bring back the beautiful art of conversation while sharing a fave drink during gatherings, than just randomly checking stuff on our phones.
Sana soon meron ding family conversation cards and kids convo cardsss.” -Mommy Cess Arnaiz
Read Mommy Chesca’s thoughts about the Milk Tea Meetup here.
Bagong Nanay events happening soon!
If you want to join the next Bagong Nanay Milktea Meetup sa North this March, comment below or send me a message on Instagram (@bagongnanay).
Chesca is also holding a Mini Mindful Art Tambay in Las Pinas on Feb 28, message her on IG (@studiomaria.formamas) to join! See you soon, Bagong Nanay. You are loved.
Holding Both: A Gentle 7-Day Journey Through the Quiet Contradictions We Carry As Mothers e-book is available through Studio Maria’s website here. Get 5% off when you use the code BAGONGNANAY upon checkout!
PS. Thank you, Chesca, for the gift of you. And for giving yourself to the Bagong Nanays.
Bagong Nanay 